Friday, July 24, 2009
I feel horrible and nothing has gotten done today, tomorrow 2 major exams and a few hours at the church to finish the cleaning.
This has been a pretty bad week, ending with a no on a question that should have been a yes and the worst cramps ever!
Tomorrow should go smoothly though, i hope
pray for me if you are the praying kind
Monday, July 20, 2009
I spent several hours on the phone to determine that
1. Tim should be eligible for Loan Consolidation
2. THe Direct Loan Consolidation department did not sent the correct or any papers to the US Department of Education. I called one verified that they did not have the papers that were sent on the 24th of June, so back to the drawing board. It is another classic example of the fact that the more government involvement the more paper work and the longer it takes to get what sould be a simple process completed. It sucks, at this point, Tim won't be able to start school until January, We had hoped for an August start. This would get him into the mentality of study and work before I began my adventures in student teaching. I am hoping by some miracle that everything can get processed quickly! This opens up more options and a bit more money which we so desparately need.
My back is killing me, I am going to go lay down on our mattress and try and get some pain free relief.
The only highlight of this day was that I did complete two assignments, I can not wait to get this class done, hopefully so I can have a few days not in a classroom or doing classwork. Ugh tonight I am exhausted....thanks to anyone still reading...
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I did hate that it took me three hours and several calls to get the final answer and that my mentor did not know the right information, which is becoming the norm these days. Oh well another milestone at least half way through
I was also happy to see that my taskstream assignments are now saying 14/24. This means only ten more assignments and if I hurry through them maybe a week or so of being school assignment free before the next semester....It is still really hard because each assignment now means about four parts to each task. I am still nervous about going to talk with the new principal I am in hopes that she will be understanding and let me get five more assignments completed so at least my PCE will get finished. Hopefully that is a win win. I want the opportunity to complete my PCE Assignments and say goodbye or at least say until we meet again based on where I do finally get a job.
We are still on hold for Tim, his loan is still in cert status. so we are still waiting to see that it is okay for him to get to going to school. I am believing that God will remove any complications that stand in the way for him to go to school. This clearance will not only open the school opportunity but we believe the door to really open the door to do God's will. Much prayer for us as we once again wait on the Lord. My hopes is that it comes quickly so there are not issues with financial aid At Liberty. Tim, and I guess I am bias, but being his spouse and living with him day in and out I can honestly say that He tries to serve God and live his life in a way that would be pleasing to God. Thank you God for all the blessings even in this trying time.
Beyond school news, my heart was touched by my Hubby, he put up a link about Married Couples Without Kids, and a list of things people say, mostly in good intentions. He doesnt talk to me about this though a few times he has held me and said "babe, there just isn't anything I can do about it now. But I love you and I do believe somehow we will one day be parents." Bless him for hurting with me and desiring that God will grow his family.
Somedays, my faith waivers, but most days I know that God loves us, even in the bad times, but I need to see these things work out well. Prayer that God will help us reach our goals for a happy future.
Monday, July 13, 2009
I did make a call today and found out that I will know the scores from my first two praxis exams tomorrow by 5pm Eastern. And even as I blog, I am trying to see what is going on with my Hubby's school so that He can get on working towards his dreams. I have really enjoyed, well mostly enjoyed, spending some time together talking about life goals and the directions we want our lives to take, I feel priviledge to be on the track to being a teacher and happy that there is only three academic classes remaining..and then a cohort seminar, student teaching, and student portfolio...so really it is almost over! This time next year, I will be interviewing again but for a Teacher position....so happy! So excited! So nervous!
I am really hoping that Tim will also get a chance to follow his heart and pursue his dreams...if you are the praying kind...
Please pray for Tim and specifically that his loan will qualify for Loan Consolidation so he can get the funds to complete his master degree. This is a vital part of getting the ball rolling into our future. I am excited that he got into Liberty and happy that once he completes his Master Degree he can obtain another degree to get a better job.
I sure hope that tomorrow finds me excited about passing praxis exams!!!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Oops I almost forgot, Today is Thursday...I am thankful that at least I got an interview...and two assignments turned in tonight!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Today was AWESOME! To begin with we slept to about 9am, and woke up with no official plans. We decided to head towards Murfreesboro, something that I have not really done, it is only about forty-five minutes away but has a lot more to do than McMinnville.
We went through Center Town and Woodbury
I drove there we drove around, got kinda cranky/grumpy so we stopped to have lunch at BK. Double Stackers all around it was great!
Then after driving by the Boys and Girls twice we opted to stop by and buy a Murfreesboro map. We went to the mall that everyone raves about and well we kinda liked Books a Million, but the rest was not our cup of tea. Then we decided to go and find Target, along the way we found Toys R Us, and a Sno cone. And we stopped in at Pier Import one, nothing great there. Oh yeah and we went to Party City, and got some things for the Children Worship Kids....
I was so pleased to not have anxiety while driving in a place I did not know. I have always struggled with driving and nearly passing out when I get into traffic or lost, I believe that this may have made my day. It has been an eternity since I did not feel like I was going to have a panic attack....so pleased. I hope this is a new leaf.
We came home for a little bit, had dinner at the Chinese Restaurant, went to Praise Practice, and then ran a few errands...picked up a Madea movie to watch and invited the MIL and SIL to ice cream and cake. We ended up playing Let's Make a Deal and watching a movie until 3am!
We had a great birthday! The weather was nice, the family got along and we even had a small adventure. Maybe this birthday will be the start of a great year!
Friday, July 3, 2009
1 day until the fourth of July
3 days until our Birthday ( Tim my DH, ME, and my dad) --I'm not so excited, this just means that not only am I getting older so are my eggs :(
3 weeks until I take the next set of Praxis exams to get a Teacher License in TN
5 weeks ( we hope less) until Tim gets the final answer on his financial aid situation
6 weeks unti School starts back at Morrison ( this is something I am looking forward because I need to finish those five PCE Assignments still)
8 weeks until Tim starts classes at Liberty ( assuming that week five works out...)
11 weeks until...my student loan money--thank goodness for student loan forgiveness, I hate to take a loan but this time I really have to, we are so barely almost making it!
Now that was weird enough to take the time to make a list and check with a cell phone calendar but here is where is got weird
25 weeks until Christmas
26 weeks until 2010
27 weeks until Student Teaching Begins
40 weeks until I complete student teaching
42 weeks until I graduate....
And then hopefully insurance and a RE Appt.
I know silly, but in a really strange way this list makes me feel a little better. Like there is a plan...I am sure this is a sign of my OCD.....but lists are my thing as well as numbers.........
So here is my question, what is on your list? What are you waiting for?
Thursday, July 2, 2009
I am thankful that Mrs. Tidwell, said last year that she would be willing to let me student teach in her class. I hope to benefit greatly from her twenty years of teaching and am so happy that she is willing to let me learn from her. I have a little concern over having one or two children from church in that classroom but in a small community and working in two churches there may be no way to avoid this issue.
This doesn't sound positive, but I am thankful that we are over half way through with this year. This year has been rough emotionally, physically, and financially. I am eager to complete this year and along with it the remainder of my book work so that I can focus on my student teaching experience. Come on 2010! I am also eager for the decision to be made to determine when Tim gets to start school: August, September, or January!
I am also thankful that my Dad sent me a birthday card, it is nice to be remembered. In this card was twenty five dollars, his grocery list, and a piece of paper that says simply Happy Birthday! I am not sure if the list is what he wants me to buy or if it just another sign of him wanting to get errands run quickly to get on the parkway and drive. My guess, since the weather is good, is parkway driving.
I am thankful even for all of this work, because in the end, I hope it ends with a new career and a chance to pull our family out of poverty! Wish me luck.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
I love this picture of him and his sister Betty.
I love how 70's it is and how it looks like Tim is having to explain something to someone.
This picture is of me playing, I am willing to bet that my sister Marsha, put my hair up. I loved these skid proof pj's with feet. Why don't they make those for adults?
This picture is hilarious, I love Tim in a tie and I love the expression. I think he is saying why am I with these people and why must they continue to take pictures?
This was taken in April of 1982. I was four and I am sure this was part of my Easter gifts. It shows that my love of shopping was taught and my Mom encouraged me.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
It is hard to believe that at age thirty, I am experiencing such full blown summer fever. I think this shows me that working in a classroom environment year round, like Cookeville, might have it's own set of challenges.
The other part is the four Praxis exams that are required in the state of Tennessee, so far, I have taken two of them...won't know if they are a pass until July 11th. And I have two more exams, that I need to take on the 25th of July. I hope that they are all a pass so I don't have to come up with an additional 150 dollars a piece!
We have given up time out enjoying life and time with each other, we have given up vacations and money. I really hope that this time in school will end with me getting a job as the economy seems to crumble, I am losing some hope.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
I am also ready to have insurance, complain about how poor I am as I plan a vacation, and eat out every once in a while. The casual luxuries are things that I am eager to participate in. And even though I am so grateful for the job that I now have, I can't wait to be able to stop cleaning the church and clean my own house every once in a while.
Today is almost over at this place, just one more church service where we sing and eat ice cream and I want to "get it over with" Don't get me wrong, I like visiting with the people from my church, I just feel really bad emotionally and physically. Tim is going to play his banjo, now that should be entertaining. At least he warned the folks. As for us, we will serve the Lord, so for now I am going to kiss my Hubby, call my MIL, and get on the road.
Friday, June 26, 2009
My heart is broken as kids came and offered a hug or a smile, I had to watch them get on a bus, and wonder if they would be welcomed home with love. My arms ached for a child, why are there so many people who never want kids and have millions and I long for just one child to love and claim as my own! I also am sad because I long to go on the Mission trip and there is no way financially I can afford to go and if I could Tim's health is not good enough to safely go. I know this isnt his fault but I get angry because this is not what I signed up for. Don't get me wrong, I adore my hubby but it is so unfair that things are so hard for him and that it has always been that way. Come on insurance! I wanted a simple life, a couple of kids, a small little house and a summer vacation every year, but all of these feel like a lifetime away. I keep telling myself that it will get better, but at times, I seriously believe that my life is hard and that no matter what I do it will just stay that way.
Then the latest news, my Mother in Law, is having a mole removed and we are going to have to wait for feedback, on whether or not it is Cancer.
VBS is over, but no rest for me, tomorrow I will be cleaning a trashed church, and then on to a busy next week-----Sunday church and SNAP with music! Monday-Mom to the Doctor and errands and laundry to catch up, Tuesday---Praise Practice...my first possible day off is next Thursday...I need a vacation, a real one away from family and friends. Away from even my church family! I love them but I need a break!
Here are some of my favorite pictures of Nancy, my mother in law.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
1. That Jesus Loves them
2. That I love them
and that they matter.
I wonder if someone had invested in my life when I was young would I still struggle with self esteem or still have such rough food issues?
I have most everything set up perfectly thanks to a dedicated Hubby and the recently elected Sound man..I also got some help from My MIL. I hope this goes well and that there are no major traumas.......UGH!
I cant wait to gather together and get some pics!!!!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
This day is hard, because I wonder will I ever have a chance to tell my DH Happy Father's day? I long to be able to give him a healthy son or daughter, something that is 50% both of us and yet 100% perfect in spite of us.
I have just spent the last hour putting together the final touches for Children Worship Dad Day Craft and we are talking about Abram's faith and how he left when God told him to and went into uncharted waters. I wonder if this will be true for us as we begin to explore infertility treatments and search for more information...
Morrison First Baptist, starts VBS, pre-registration tomorrow night at 6pm. If you can come on out and bring your Dad, we will be happy to give him a hotdog too!!!
The VBS decorations are awesome and the planning is extraordinary thanks to the Shirley and Jack Best, and their daughter Tanya....Wow it is over the top and the kids are gonna love it!!!
Friday, June 19, 2009
I am learning to wait. It appears that is what I am learning because at every point in my life there seems to be things that I just have to wait and see what happens.....Four weeks until I get the results for my first set of praxis exams, five weeks until I finish taking the rest of the tests that lead to a teacher license, next week until I see how VBS goes.....and now another big thing that I have to wait for.
I wonder why as an adult it is still hard to keep a secret? But here I am dying to share my secret and having to be quiet and wait.
Well for now, I am going to finish watching the Yes Man with Tim, lovin the free rental codes. Go redbox!!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I am happy to have met another goal of meeting the goals set with my mentor. My next goal will be the hardest yet. I have to finish the current class and all 24 tasks by July 13th. If I can reach this goal, I will have a small break until classes begin again in September. Of course after the tenth of August, I will be back in the classroom. I am thankful for being able to go to school and work with excellent teachers and students and learn so much from everyone.
I am happy to have a Hubby that is dedicated to things that are important to me. We have been through so much as a couple and I love that things that are important to me are also important to him. For example, he has worked hard to make a lighthouse for VBS in between uploading the church website, getting the video up of the sermons, planning out music, working on ideas for choir specials, and school work. He is awesome and I appreciate that when I have a need he really cares and tries to help me get the results that I need. I am thankful also that even as dedicated as he is to me that I can count on him to be actively seeking God's will for His life and for direction on which way our little family should go with decisions.
I am thankful for my Conception Obsession friends, they are a great support group for anyone who is having trouble getting pregnant.
I am thankful for the children at Living Waters Church, I love love love teaching Children Worship and it is really helping my relationship with my MIL. We make a great team when it comes to helping the kids learn about Jesus. I am so excited about the new lessons on the Hall of Faith and I am excited about after VBS getting to redecorate the Living Water Children's Area.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
( okay Wordless Wednesday is a chance to share pics)
Since I am in School mode....here are a few pics about adventures on the way to a teaching degree...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Last night, it was so nice to come home and make dinner and just be with my Hubby. I adore him. I know that I am blessed to have a great hubby, he has his character flaws, but how lucky I am to always feel safe--physically and emotionally.
Today, was good so far. I did the usual running around, bank, krogers, mcdonalds, lowes--to get the lighthouse supplies! So excited to have a chance to decorate finally for VBS that is right around the corner. I am thrilled that Tim is making me a lighthouse and I really hope that it turns out good. I am eager to get it all set up, I need to make a dock, make a lighthouse, hang a few posters, make a few posters, make a note for the parents, copy pictures onto the boxes for the Mexico mission trip and so much more!!!!!! I also need to study the book, and wach the video, but I guess I got a week, it should be great!
I still need to clean, do laundry, plan out the meals for the week, and finish my grocery shopping. Not to mention that in three days, I need to have several more assignments turned in so I am blissfully busy!
Cant wait to post pics!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
This is an Elvis car that was drive by a 72 year old very fun lady. We met her in Paducah, KY on our move to Tennessee. Goes to show that age is just a number. I am not a huge Elvis fan but this lady had the best attitude and her kids got her car designed for her.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
And as you have all heard, I have been dreaming about being a teacher...an elementary teacher, and now the rest of the story plays in. I have always had a heart for Hispanic children, because my mom came from another country I have always been intensely aware that their are often cultural dynamics as well as other issues that face these children in addition to the fact that they have to learn a very difficult language. English can be very hard, then add in slang and dialect differences and it can seem a bit much. But here is what I am trying to get to, as soon as I complete my bachelor degree next March, I am going right into taking my Master of Arts Degree in English Language Learning. This is an interesting degree in that not all the states offer these classes. But I think I can say that I can go without teaching in WV, AL, WY, WI, SC, or SD. I think this is going to be a great option for me, letting me still have some opportunities to interact with children in small groups and open up several option to instruct at the community college level. This makes me really excited! Another journey is starting...I am so excited!
Monday, June 8, 2009
What is going on in our lives????
Well Tim traded a violin for a banjo, and is making progress at a fast pace. I must admit it isn't my favorite thing but he loves it and loving him..well it is part of the deal. Though I must admit, he is so naturally talented it is crazy to watch him pick up a new instrument so quickly.
Tim, has decided to pursue a Master of Arts in Evangelism and Church Planting....this is definitely a God thing. The way he got in was odd and his acceptance into a Master level degree even odder. But the only foreseeable down side is if he can start in August or if he has to wait until January...Either way, I am so proud of him!!!!
I am still working diligently on becoming a teacher and all in all it really isn't so far off from the point where I can hopefully get a good job. I should graduate in March.People say I am crazy for wanting to teach but I really don't think it is that bad of a deal...you get most evenings and weekends off and at least two months in the summer.And even thirty thousand beats what we are managing to live on now. And I really love kids, twenty five with a well planned lesson and a great classroom routine works pretty well. My next hurdle is taking and passing my first two praxis exams this upcoming Saturday! So nervous, I will be so relieved when they are over. If I don't pass the exam I get another chance to pass in September but at ninety dollars per test I really hope I pass the first time.
I am taking a hand writing class, I got the first two lessons back today and I got a 15/16 on both of them. 93% is not such a bad start in my opinion. I was pleasantly surprised. I must get back into working on these lessons because I can not believe how much I have enjoyed having four days school free.
Not a lot else, Tim and I have made the determination to live in poverty for the next year forsaking a real vacation, weekends away, eating out, or even real movies but this allows us to reach our academic goals in 2010....Somethings are worth the work to reach them.....I just hope that family and friends understand that we care about them but money only stretches so far...
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Completely off the subject, I have always thought that if I was a "good girl" that I would not struggle with so many issues in marriage, relationships, and life in general. Amanda was a good girl, she was such a good girl that if I did not know her I would think she was a goody goody and be uncomfortable but guess what sometimes our past really doesnt matter? And then while I was learning this life lesson, it was reinforced with the sermon about mercy and God granting mercy and how we need to stop limiting what we can do because of our past. Do you know what Jim Baker is doing? Jim Baker has remarried, they have adopted a child from every continent and are in the process of building Mercy Center for troubled youth that other places refuse to take. Wow, funny how we define people by their mistakes and yet they still can do so much good?
So today, I guess I get through the turmoil by making new friends, forgiving myself and others, and trying to keep reaching out instead of wanting to be by myself.....